Proposing in the Eternal City
By Jonathan Steiner
Love and Rome, the two words are basically synonymous. In Italian, they create the perfect palindrome: amor e Roma. Etymologically speaking, Rome is the literal root of romance. Is there a more perfect place to ask your favorite person in the world to marry you? My month spent here in Rome couldn’t have come at a more magical time. Approximately one year and three months ago, I started dating the girl that was soon to become the love of my life. We met through RUF, a Christian group at CSU, during a spring break mountain bike trip in Moab. I was impressed by her taste in music. She offered me cheese curds (she’s from Wisconsin). We spent the trip mountain biking across the stunning Moab desert, hiking through Arches National Park, and stargazing under one of the darkest skies in America, topped off with a 6 hour drive back to Fort Collins through a classic I-70 snowstorm in a minivan. We made it back to town, and I asked her out on a date about 5 minutes after we got out of the van. Fast forward to the following year, and here I am in Rome with an engagement ring, ready to propose.
Rome is, of course, widely considered to be one of the most romantic cities in the world. Maybe not quite as popularized as Paris, but we don’t speak of the French in this class. So why the love of Rome? Turns out the idea of Italy as a place of love dates back many centuries ago. Starting around the 17th century, men and women from Northern Europe began traveling to Italy somewhat regularly. These people from England, France, Germany, and the Low Countries sought to escape the industriousness of their own countries in search for the beauty and life of leisure that existed in Italy, Rome being one of the favorite cities. It’s not hard to see the appeal. The 15th and 16th centuries hosted the Renaissance, and with them countless works of amazing art. Italy was brimming with exquisite paintings and detailed sculptures from world famous artists like Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo and Raphael.
Tourists from these northern countries typically had at least somewhat of a classical education, so they knew their art history and appreciated the works that Italy had to offer. On top of that, Rome had the added allure of the ruins of the ancient world. These attractions brought travelers to Italy, where they found themselves surrounded by “a land of pleasure in which warm weather, cheap wine, relaxed company, and sex provided the main attractions” (Gundle). No wonder Rome built up a reputation for romance. The warm Mediterranean climate of Italy was unique for most of Europe, and this pleasurable climate favored an atmosphere of relaxation and sensuality. The people in Italy were natural and genuine, quite different from the reserved and artificial people up north. Italian women were unique in their beauty and were seen as the living descendants of the beautiful females in the Renaissance paintings that young men grew up learning about.
Fast-forward to modern times and the boom of cinema, and the amorous character of Rome itself is a common theme. One of the most famous Roman movies is Roman Holiday, in which Gregory Peck and Aubrey Hepburn have what could easily be considered the perfect way to spend a day in Rome with someone you love. The movie La Dolce Vita and Three Coins in the Fountain popularized the Trevi fountain as one of the most romantic places in Rome along with the Trevi legend that tossing three coins in the fountain will ensure that the thrower returns to Rome, finds romance, and then gets married.
So here I am, in one of the most romantic cities in the world. The next question, of course, is where to propose? We have a week together after my girlfriend flies out to join me in Rome after my classes end, and I have a month to figure it out before she arrives. Luckily, I’m not the first guy to have the brilliant idea of proposing to his girlfriend in the eternal city.
A quick google search for “best places to propose in Rome” immediately pulls up a good dozen locations right off the bat. Right at the top of the list, unsurprisingly, is the Trevi Fountain. Pictured in the image below, the location is undeniably stunning. As the biggest fountain in the entire city (and one of the cleanest) it certainly takes one’s breath away, and the link that this fountain has to love is one of the strongest in the city. Walking up to it in person, one can’t help but get sucked into the imagery, enraptured by the symbolism of the statues as the glistening water splashes down into the coin-filled, sparkling pool below. Then the moment is ruined when a pack of tourists shove you in the back on their way to take a selfie and toss their three coins into the fountain. Turns out the thousands of people there at basically all hours of the day kind of ruins the romance. Besides, my girlfriend’s grandma warned me not to propose here because of all the pickpockets. She has a point, and I’m not here to go against her wishes.
The next spot that is only slightly less famous than the Trevi fountain is Piazza di Spagna and the Spanish Steps. If this location is good enough for Valentino’s Haute Couture fashion show, then I’d say it’s good enough for a simple proposal for a humble couple like us. With a fantastic view of the city from the top of the steps and the fountain of the sunken ship at the bottom, it’s beautiful everywhere you look. A prominent location in Roman Holiday adds to the magic of the location, and while you can no longer sit down and eat gelato on the steps like Aubrey Hepburn, you can walk on the same steps and stand right next to where she sat. How cool would it be to propose while my girlfriend is reenacting a favorite scene from the most romantic Roman movie? It sounds perfect - if hundreds of other tourists weren’t trying to do the same thing. The Spanish steps have the same problem as the Trevi fountain. Just too many people.
The list of romantic proposal spots goes on, but I’ll keep it brief so I can get to the good part. There’s Piazza Navona, a grand open space with a vibrant fountain in the middle and a majestic basilica on one side. Very picturesque, but full of people. When we were there our first weekend there was a newlywed couple dressed up in suit and wedding dress, and they could barely walk a few steps without getting stared at and photographed by gawking passersby. Not my idea of a romantic proposal. The less public attention the better in my opinion.
There’s the Colosseum, the Roman Forum, the Pantheon, Piazza del Campidoglio, Gianicolo Hill, Aventine Hill, Pincio terrace, Ponte St. Angelo, and Ponte Sisto. All no’s because, you guessed it, too many people. I guess I should clarify something. My idea of a perfect proposal is somewhere secluded and private, where I can enjoy a special moment without anybody else around. This leads to some pretty strict criteria. Basically, if I can see someone, it’s too crowded. This narrows my search considerably. I needed nature.
Turns out Rome is not just a city of man-made structures and ancient ruins. It has a rich relationship with nature and parks, and in the last few centuries the Romans have excelled in keeping things green and lively. Huge parks like Villa Borghese and Villa Pamphili, both constructed in the 17th century, represent shining beacons of solitude in a city that can often be overwhelming. Four hundred year old parks don’t seem too great given that Rome itself is closer to 2500 years old, but once you realize that you’re walking through a park that was created 100 years before the United States of America? That’s pretty amazing indeed. The parks of Rome are written about beautifully by Lexi Blixt in her post, A Walk Through Time, so I instead want to dive deeper into one pocket of nature specifically: The Botanical Garden of Rome.
This garden, located in a 12 hectare area directly below Gianicolo Hill, originated from the Vatican’s Simple Gardens which date all the way back to the 13th century. The current garden was established in 1660 by Pope Alexander VII, and is, I have to say, one of the most beautiful parts of Rome. Walking through the garden amplifies the Italian mindset of living life slow and deliberately. There is one entrance into the garden, so this is not a means to an end that you walk through to get somewhere.
Entering these gardens is a deliberate decision to stop and smell the roses. Quite literally, if you decide to walk through the rose garden that contains 250 species of rose, many of which are native to Italy. Near the rose garden is a small ring of flower beds titled The Garden of the Senses, which contains 40 species of plants that all have distinct tactile and olfactory features. Farther down the path is the collection of Italian varieties of grapevines, containing over 150 varieties of grapevines from all twenty regions of Italy. Keep walking and one enters the bamboo collection. Fifty species of bamboo make up one of the richest bamboo collections in Europe, standing tall over the path, closing into a tunnel as they lead the wanderer further into the garden.
Observing the few other people strolling along the garden paths gives a valuable glimpse into many aspects of Italian culture. Everyone looks lovely, embodying la bella figura even while strolling through the garden. The people seem closed off, but that’s just because I don’t know them. They go about their business and I go about mine, no fake smiles or hollow hellos necessary. It’s late in the afternoon, and people are simply enjoying a meditative stroll through the garden. No loud voices, no people running or exercising (that’s against the rules, actually), just peace and quiet, and a slow pace of life. This is the place I’ve been looking for.
Once I realized that, my time in the garden turned into a fun scavenger hunt for the best place to propose. I wandered into the most secluded corners of the garden, my head on a swivel as I was taking in everything around me – the sights, the smells, the feel. The garden is located on a hill, so as I walked uphill farther into the garden I looked over my shoulder and couldn’t help but stop dead in my tracks as the breathtaking Roman cityscape appeared through the trees. I stood there for a solid five minutes trying to pick out the famous landmarks I could see – the Pantheon, Piazza Navona, Il Vittoriano, Castle St. Angelo, and all sorts of other domes and spires that I don’t know the names of. This garden just kept getting better. Whenever I happened upon a particular beautiful spot on the garden I paused and assessed. First I checked if I could see anybody around me. There weren’t too many people there to start with so this usually passed. I kneeled and imagined myself proposing at that exact spot. Then I stood up and placed myself in my girlfriend’s shoes and decided which side I would want her to stand on so she got the prettiest view of the garden from her angle. I did this for a few locations until I found the Japanese Garden at the very back of the Botanical Garden.
I started walking up the small walking path into the garden, and as I turned a corner I was met with the prettiest scene of the garden I had seen yet. I started to get excited. A small stream gurgled down the hill from a placid koi pond up above. The stream wove its way around a fatherly tree spreading its branches in all directions, providing refreshing shade to everything around it. A simple wooden bridge crossed over the stream right next to this tree, and as I walked up to that bridge, I knew this was the spot I was going to ask my girlfriend to spend the rest of our lives together.
If you are ever lucky enough to find yourself spending time in Rome with a lovely significant other, remember that there is more to Rome than just the Colosseum and churches. The eternal city is teeming with life wherever you look. Families and couples escape here for a leisurely vacation in a wonderful climate, upholding a more than 400 year old tradition. Beautiful parks and gardens are just beyond the outer walls, begging to be explored at the slow pace of Italian life. Above all, remember to enjoy the two things you came here for most: Amor e Roma.
About the Author
Jonathan Steiner is a senior at Colorado State University majoring in Mechanical Engineering and minoring in Machine Learning. He somehow found himself in Rome taking communications classes through the honors program. Don Carlo and Dr. Julia were instrumental in creating an amazing experience both inside and outside of the classroom, and Jonathan can officially deem his first time out of America a resounding success!
Works Cited
Gundle, Stephen. Bellissima : feminine beauty and the idea of Italy / Stephen Gundle Yale University Press New Haven, Conn.; London 2007
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